"Where there is no struggle, there is no strength."
And let me be clear that the struggle was completely self-induced-okay, most of it anyway. This training week looked pretty innocent on paper but my subconscious thought it would be a good idea to try and buy best essays online. It almost succeeded a couple times. Almost-but we are all better and more capable than the lies that our limbic systems (you know, that deep brain structure that houses memory and emotion) generate when we're doing something challenging.
Sometimes the only way to get out of our own way is to forcefully reach down inside to find something stronger within than the negative voices that are telling up to quit, that we're not good enough, too old, too big, too weak, it's too humid, whatever. Confession: all those things may have popped in my head at the beginning of my seemingly innocent workout on Tuesday-and yes, I resent each statement.
So what set the stage for what felt like a boxing match instead of a long fartlek was probably rolling not one but both ankles on my 14 miler a few days before (LONG story-maybe I'll tell another time). I had forgotten that what seemed like an embarrassing inconvenience turned into some sore calves days later.
Starting my warm up I was uncomfortable below the knee and it was 95% humidity and warm. I also forgot to buy more coffee so I felt half awake and more unfocused than usual. Caffeine addiction apparently is no joke! The calves loosened up and I started my timed ladder intervals and felt like I was full of sand. Full of sand and like I had a sweater sleeve shoved down my throat. Grotesque, isn't it?! So of course the HR soared and I started to freak. Ok not really, but the inner dialogue started to lean towards stepping off the track and waiting for a better day to do this workout; I mean, the recovery intervals are really short after all..... This lasted several minutes until I made the decision to just try ONE more interval-see if I can challenge myself and my current mood. The workout was not pretty, but the most important thing became not quitting or letting up-and besides, who really needs oxygen anyway?? ;)
Low and behold, this strategy worked. This run was really, really, hard, but I decided that I would get more out of doing something really hard in crap conditions than just gallivanting through another pristine morning. This is not where resilient individuals live. They live in the places where others dare not go because they feel they are not worthy or strong enough. You don't grow if you don't subject yourself to less-than-ideal and push through.
The rest of the week brought time-management challenges as I had to work later on a number of nights and be flexible, which isn't always the easiest thing for me to do. I had to refocus a couple times away from how hot and tired I was and refocus on gaining toughness.
...But c'mon, it's just a workout, what's the big deal here?
Low and behold, this strategy worked. This run was really, really, hard, but I decided that I would get more out of doing something really hard in crap conditions than just gallivanting through another pristine morning. This is not where resilient individuals live. They live in the places where others dare not go because they feel they are not worthy or strong enough. You don't grow if you don't subject yourself to less-than-ideal and push through.
The rest of the week brought time-management challenges as I had to work later on a number of nights and be flexible, which isn't always the easiest thing for me to do. I had to refocus a couple times away from how hot and tired I was and refocus on gaining toughness.
...But c'mon, it's just a workout, what's the big deal here?
This experience may help me later on in a race, but just the fact that I aggressively went after something that was really hard for me carried over into the rest of my day. More and more I feel like I am returning to the mindset that I adopted when I first started to run seriously-I did it for how it made me feel. I liked doing hard things for the internal payoff and competing with myself. There was nobody there to yell at me or give encouragement, I had to do it all myself. Sometimes, it really is what we do when nobody's watching that makes all the difference. Do it for yourself, honor your talents and honor God, and things will take care of themselves.
Now, that's real strength.
Carpe Viam.
